PSA: If y'all need some loving I'm coming home

Good morning Singapore!!!

Omg it's been so long since I've blogged I literally forgot what was the standard font I used to write in. I apologise to those who actually bother reading my blog. I have come to accept that I am actually a pretty busy person so I AM VERY SORRY. I also prefer real life interaction as compared to you just reading my life off a screen coz you gotta admit, if you don't know me in real life you're basically just reading my 3am thoughts of a screen. As much as I'm flattered that you bothered, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TALK TO ME I'M REALLY NICE. 

Anywho, there's is just so much to update on my life to be honest. For once, I have no summary for what the blogpost is gonna be on because I'm literally struggling to fall asleep and recently I was reminded of this blog's existence. Can I just say I'm realising how fully narcissistic the huge banner I have of my face is and I regret hard HAHAHA. But it's a pretty cutesie photo of me so I'm just gonna leave it there for a bit, at least till I'm free to play around with the html of this thing. 

But I guess the whole focus of this blogpost would be just a random PSA to announce that:

I AM COMING HOME!!!

Oh what do you know, I guess there is a point to this blogpost after all HAHAHAH. But yeah, for those who have missed my presence please know that June is the month you have me physically there in your life again. Please do know that even tho I wasn't physically around for a bit I am still readily available through texts and social media for y'all to contact me so really it should feel as if I've never left. 

If you do feel like you need me to physically be there coz texting is not your thing, I'm here for you in June :) heh. 

So yes, please do contact me if you wanna hang. I'll probably be trying to meet up with everyone I freaking know in the world because I am a super needy and overly attached person. I'm not sure if you know this, but as my friend you're sort of stuck with me for life. I don't care if we just used to go to the same school together and barely spoke, or if I just met you through another friend and we are on a hi and bye basis, in Sammy's world there is really no such thing as acquaintances, you are my friend. You gotta deal with it, sorry. HAHAH. 

But yeah I wanna know all about you. What's been going on in your life, the highs, the lows, heartbreaks or new loves, losses and gains, new mad skillz you picked up, what you realised you are bad at literally E V E R Y T H I N G. Honestly, just catch up with me man. I'm all ears, I probably miss you more than you know. If I don't that's coz I don't know you yet and we can defo change that :) so yeah, lemme know if you wanna hang. My social media stuff are all on the right so, go crazy you. I will definitely be back by mid June so just text me and I will put you into my calendar :) xoxo.

I'm also intending to travel a little during this break tbh so please book me so I know when not to fly away. I think right now to me it's all about the experience and living life a little before life becomes focused on working on my career and building a family and all that kinda real real adult stuff. As a pseudo adult I can assure you that adulting so far has not been the most fun. Uni is hard tbh. Life is basically tough but Sammy deals. As of now I have intentions to venture into diving since I've always been obsessed with water and marine life anyway, so Imma talk to the daddy and see if he's for it. Lord please lemme interact with fishes in the near future -fingers crossed-.

I'm apparently supposed to try out skydiving as well but that's a huge ?????????? for me still. But I might just YOLO and go for it since it's a once in a life time experience... I might die, but it might work out considering how hard uni is actually HAHAH. I'm kidding don't worry. I'm also intending to travel with my besties coz we are overly attached and I love them much. I think I should brace daddy that I might have to be a burden again. #oopsie

Haha I have some other updates on hand, but I don't think now is the right time to announce anything so bear with me. I'll honestly put in a bit more effort into updating this blog. I suck, I know. Thank you for still reading the shit I put up anyway, if you made it this far down the post please lemme know so I can give you a virtual hug or a candy bar irl if that's your preferred choice for poison. I love you much. Thank you for giving a shit. 

PLEASE DO ASK ME OUT OKAY. 

Please help me out with keeping our friendship/relationship alive. Because I can honestly sense how busy I can be in my efforts to meet up with every person I care about; which is basically everyone in my life, so if you don't bother to really set plans with me you probably will not get to see me. Then you'll have to wait till Christmas or next Easter depending on when I'm back again in Singapore. Why would you do that to us tho? I should be staying in Singapore till early September so you have 3 months of your schedule to play around with heh. 

I think I should head to bed now it's going to 4am here in Newcastle. But here's a little gif on what I've learnt these few weeks coz it has been a real stressful but crazy exciting time for Sammy. I think this photoset just makes sense to me. Will post updates on that part of my life when I'm ready and if there is more to update I promise. 

I love you so very much if you made it to the end of this post. Really hope to hear from you, -hugs- if you're looking for real time updates please feel free to add me up on snapchat yeah? @sammycharlotte. You are super awesome and very loved <3

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥

I'm sorry I am not made out to be an influencer, here are some updates tho

HI EVERYONEEEE.

I am so sorry, obviously if I were to be paid to do my Youtube videos and my blogposts, I would starve to death. But if people were to really pay me to post stuff I would be more than interested of course feel free to hit me up and we can talk about it. 

I am actually a very inappropriate person so if you want to really know my deepest thoughts and desires, you gotta work for it mate. HAHAH.

So quick overview of what this blogpost is gonna be about: 

1) AN OVERVIEW OF HOW UNI HAS BEEN

2) I ACTUALLY STARTED MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL WORK ON IT WHEN IM BACK

3) HOW I NEED TO START LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF A BIT MORE TO LOVE OTHERS AROUND ME BETTER

4) TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2016

So the last time I blogged I mentioned that I was headed to Uni, and uni has been a pretty odd and unsettling albeit fruitful experience so far. Can I just take this opportunity to highlight to those who are looking to go overseas for your further education that it is not all unicorns, rainbows and DEFINITELY NO PROMISE OF THE SUN. 

It's not that different from Poly tbh, but yeah, if you're headed to foreign land be prepared for accents that will take some getting used to and also the fact that assignment briefs can be the most confusing time. Also, be prepared to read A LOT because the seminars are crazy interactive and you may be singled out to give your thoughts on the readings. 

I've been settling in quite well with my classes I would say, but the assignments really stress me out because they are definitely not as detailed as what I'm used to back home in Singapore and it really makes me doubt myself on whether I even did an assignment right.

So at this point I would really like to ask you guys to pray for me, or just send me positive vibes if that's not your kinda thing. I would really appreciate it a million because I really need it. Like I really want to make my dad fking proud so I really need to do well in school. 

But overall I met a few awesome peeps from around the world who make class worth going for and I'm eternally thankful for them. I feel like I'm always the most excited person to be in class even though I whine about the morning lessons, because there are some really awesome people who make the class good. :) you guys are so lovely please don't change. 

I really want to make it a point to get to know more people from wherever so please please drop me a msg if you're in Newcastle or just in the same timezone and looking for a friend :). Please take note I am not DTF or looking for anything specifically in that area, sooooooo please don't drop me texts that will make me uncomfy thank you xoxo. 

Moving onto my Youtube channel... Hehhhhhh I did start it, but I never followed through, here I would like to sincerely apologise to whatever fans I have (lol) mostly GABBY, XAV and DEBBY I'm so sorry guys I know you guys looking forward to my videos, but my time has been spent on school and trying waaaaay too hard for the people around me. 

No more, I promise I will set aside time to put in a bit more effort to do up the channel <3. Please bear with me guys, I'll definitely work a bit harder on producing a bit of content at least for you three. I love you guys, thank you for being the few who believe I have any star quality at all. You guys are so precious to me, I don't say it enough. But yeah, just be a little patient with me, I'm reworking all my priorities right now for the year and one of my priorities is gonna be me for once. 

The rest of you feel free to tell me what kinda content y'all wanna see on the channel k, other than the occasional covers I want it to be a platform for me to voice my thoughts on certain topics. So, would be interesting to tackle some of the stuff y'all toss in my way :). (SEX IS ALWAYS FUN TO TALK ABOUT BTW, SO, LIKE FEEL FREE TO PITCH THINGS MY WAY) -WINKWINK-

Okay so, this is a huge part of why I wanted to blog tonight. Been feeling a little emotional these few days thinking of going back to Newcastle, because I just feel so loved here in Singapore and life has been tough in Newcastle for some reason. 

I have this habit of putting others' needs before me and I have difficulty raising up times when I am unhappy or hurt. So it's really no one's fault when I'm down in Newcastle and I feel so alone tbh. 

But yeah, I've just been borderline depressed in NCL for a long time now because I just feel so unlike me. I'm constantly thinking I'm not good enough in NCL and I think it's because I feel so useless unable to really be there for the ones I love back in SG and feeling like I'm not good enough for those in NCL. I basically reduced myself into a ball of insecurities and I'm a damn wreck that needs to get it together. 

So yes, I learnt after my short time back in SG that I need to start thinking of myself before I can really be there for others as well. 

A wise friend told me: Sometimes your saying 'no' is good for others, you need to start seeing it this way because you tend to put others before yourself. 

You know who you are and you know I love you because you fking get me and put it into words. :) <3 thank you. 

This week back home really helped me gain perspective of what I was doing wrong in NCL and I'm going back a happier and stronger person both emotionally and physically I feel. So, yall brace yourself for a different Sammy. I'll focus a bit more on myself so that I can love y'all better and more selflessly. #scoutshonouryall 

So no more pining for validation and putting others waaaaay waaaaaaaaay before myself. I'm gonna love myself a bit more. :) So if I'm a bit selfish this year, I think it's warranted because I haven't been all for Sammy for awhile, if you cannot deal with it, maybe you need to start thinking for me a bit too. I don't know, just something to think about hahah. 

But yeah, here are some of the awesome people who made my life bearable in NCL, this is not all of them, but these people really helped a whole lot, if y'all ever do see this, please know I love yall. 

Bunny boo <3 aka burden barnes HAHAHA

Texas Princess Alaina <3

Jack <3

Gracine baby <3

Sigh until today I do not get why they took squat goals so literally.

That's Charlotte on the far right. <3

Rude Ryan at the back.

And them burdens on rotation crew. HAHAH.

Okay so the last and most EXCITINGGGGG PARTTTTT. I'm gonna be going around in 2016, heh. 

• Headed to Japan for Chinese New Year in Feb (what is school?)
• Going down to Birmingham to catch ATL and GC in Feb as well 
• Might be spending my Valentine's in London this one isn't confirmed yet, so if anyone would like to be my Valentine, please let me know -winkwink-
• Should be traveling in March with Gracine around UK 
• Glasgow(?) still thinking on this one, because it will mostly be a whiskey trip HAHAHA
• There may be plans to head to Amsterdam in March as well to catch up with Seb and Steph
• BORACAY WITH MY #HOTSTUFF CREW IN JUNE WHAT UP THIS ONE, I REALLY CANNOT WAIT, AHAHAHA. 

So yeah, that's the first half of the year traveling plans uh, if any of you would like to jump in on any do let me know, all but the last one should be open invites HAHAH. So yeah, if you've made it this far in the post please know I love you so much for even bothering to read this and keeping up with me. I love you so much and you are so precious to me. -hugs- I'll just throw in a couple of photos for your visual entertainment. HAHAH, I'm so full of shit. This is featuring those who really made me feel so loved in the short time I have been back. <3 Y'all mean so much to me I will see y'all in June my loves.

My awesome Tiger Ng.

I'm gonna miss my grandma so fking much when I go back to NCL it is unreal I am damn needy, but this woman is my rock. <3

My hotstuff crew. Never change yall. 

MY BOOS, I LOOK SO HAPPY HERE LOOKIE HAHA.

Amanda and Lourdy <3 some things never change bebs.

Melmel. heh. Girlfriends4lyfe.

Once again please feel free to contact me via any of my social media channels. I have snapchat too! @sammycharlotte :) so feel free to hit me up any time. I reserve the right to ignore anyone who creeps me out tho. Please remember that you are loved and never alone. -hugs- I promise to try and update this deadass blog as much as possible k I'm so sorry again. HAHAH.

With love,

xoxo Sammy Valentina ♥